Phil In The Blank

Your Federally Stolen Earnings: What Ford AIN’T Powered By

The Blank — Fri, 06 Nov 2009 19:56:41 +0000

Two different AAD (“American Automotive Debacle”) postings on two different listserves in one day inspired more than a short response on the part of yours truly, so I figured I’d share ‘em on this sad and lonely blog.

Enjoy…
______

> The emotional part of me still hates Ford for their “it’s my mountain” ad campaign of a bunch of years ago.

Oh, well… At least you weren’t forced to pay to make it “your” mountain.

Not to worry, though. Lord Barry owns the UAW outright, so I’m sure it won’t be long until Ford dies on the now profitable comeback trail, too.

The Chinese are absolutely desperate to buy Ford (now the world’s FOURTH largest manufacturer, behind Guv’ment Motors, Toyota and the Hyundai Motor Group (which includes Kia) because Ford is the only American auto manufacturer NOT owned by the Fed — meaning they’re the only one worth purchasing. It was rather doubtful the deal would include Volvo from the start (especially since Ford sold Volvo to the Chinese to raise desperately needed capital), but it sure as hell would encompass Mazda. It’s even been rumored that Ford would sell the Mercury name (a very limited model line) to the Chinese, as that particular line has been exclusively considered “woman’s market” for over a decade, and women tend to not follow the “who owns what?” trends in their buying decisions. Lincoln’s fate, however, may not be so grim, as Ford has made it known to the automotive press that Lincoln is currently shifting to position itself as the ONLY American luxury line not part of the fascist monopolies in Michigan and Italy.

Still, I believe I am more saddened by the loss of the American auto industry than I am about any other single facet of our having become a fascist nation. To think that, just a few short years ago, we had once again become the world standard bearer in quality and product diversity, and now… And now they’re considered a leper colony with quality products known to but a fraction of the dirt-eating-stupid American consumer. The funniest inside joke (aka: “Fuck you!”) in automotive advertising of late is the Ford Taurus SHO ads where the announcer actually pronounces it the “Ford SHOW” rather than the individual letters “S” “H” “O” — standing for “Super High Output” back in the ’80s when the 5-speed manual, 220 horse, Yamaha-built DOHC V-6 Taurus SHO was actually FASTER (not quicker, but nearly 20mph FASTER due to its slipperier body shape) than a Mustang GT. Insiders always used to refer to the SHO as the “Show” but it was NEVER referred to that way in any verbal advertising. Now it would seem Ford is selling their new 355hp/26mpg sedan to HONEST-TO-GOODNESS REAL CAR PEOPLE rather than mass marketing it to Camry-buying dullards.

Oh, well…

…It’s good to know all of our RWD Cadillacs are still Opels, our Malibus and comparable Buicks are still Vauxhalls, and all our shitbox-sized Chevy Whatevers are still Suzukis; so be proud to be an American who owns every last one of these fine, fine AMERICAN cars! I mean, at least you didn’t buy that wanna-be American military vehicle known as the Hummer, because the Communist Chinese are now building them for Moms, Pops and our Fighting Men and Women sent into harm’s way going up against RPG-7s…

…built by those same Communist Chinese and then sold to the West’s OTHER mortal enemies.

Just don’t get me started on Chrysler’s unique take on re-fighting WW-II with their Italian owned German sedans powered by Japanese engines reforming the Triple Axis on four wheels — sold in large part to inbred Republican morons screaming “Buy American!” in a state where they elected an Austrian governor.

I’m certain Rod Serling is glad he’s dead so he doesn’t have to attempt to air something that keeps being rewritten by our goddamned government every single day.

______

Then came this exchange that chose a curious metaphor to describe a restaurant critique that started out comparing Kias to Aston-Martins and concluded as follows:
______

> But comparing it to Yoshimatsu or Bob Dobbs or any one of a zillion casual barbecue joints (or the Miller’s Pub on Wabash or the Ferris Wheel on State Street, for the fellow ex-Chicagoans on the list!) is fair, as fair as criticizing a Kia for not being a Hyundai.

Honest, I do get the joke, but this thread has magically provided me with the latest happy-fun-time opportunity to explain why 99.9779052% of Americans should not be allowed to even look at an automobile, much less purchase one.

It’s reason why they ran out to buy a Toyota Matrix, because they absolutely knew a Toyota is way better than any American car…

…Like, say, a Pontiac Vibe that cost around $1700.00 less.

Of course, when there still was a Pontiac, Pontiac built the Toyota Matrix — in Canada — alongside the identical Vibe, as the last vestige of the GM/Toyota product development partnership dating back to the ’80s known as NUMMI.

Oh, yeah, and I sincerely agree it wouldn’t be perfectly fair to criticize a Kia for not being an Aston-Martin — or a Hyundai…

…Well, were Kia not recently “re-majority” owned by Hyundai, that is.

Auf wiedersehen,
Ciao,
Sayonara,
Moi

PS: And I don’t care if he went up against the Church of Scientology (of which he was a former member). I still want “Sham-Wow Vince” to die a truly horrible death for being annoying.
PPS: I do realize a lot of you are thinking the same thing about me at this very moment.
PPPS: I also realize an even greater number are actually mumbling (in your best Gary Cooper), “But I don’t think of you.”
PPPPS: Also, until recently, Ford owned Aston-Martin (and actually made them functioning automobiles again, as they did with Jaguar), but they sold A-M off (as they did with Jag and Land Rover) to avoid becoming insolvent (you know, like the Free Market normally dictated before America became utterly ecstatic with fascism), retaining only Mazda and Volvo as their joint development overseas’ marques after the big cash quest.
PPPPPS: And, finally, as long as we’re talking non-Guv’ment Motors, the shit box Ford Aspire (known to automotive writers as the Ford “Perspire” due to its inability to match freeway speeds when merging from an on ramp) was, in fact, built by Kia…

…back when Ford owned Kia.

No Flavor-Aid Required: The Hitler Analogy

The Blank — Sat, 05 Sep 2009 19:03:39 +0000

What most public school “educated” Americans fail to comprehend is that fascism doesn’t automatically equal dead Jews.

It certainly didn’t in Italy, where Mussolini openly had Jews and homosexuals and gypsies and whathaveyou in his own administration. Fascism is simply a system of government where “private” ownership of industry is given appropriate lip service after said industry has been nationalized; its means of production, hiring practices, distribution and marketplace 100% controlled by the State. In point of fact, fascism is to the left of communism on the linear political scale, because the “promise” of communism (never once realized in its actual application, of course) was an equal distribution of wealth rather than the government protecting its chosen corporate few. In a glorious twist of fascist fate, the inherent favoritism of non-competition in a free marketplace is why Oskar Schindler was able to amass the fortune he did to purchase the lives of so many slaves toiling for the Nazi war machine.

That said, fascism is now America’s system of government because its most fervent supporters have been told the actual term “fascist” only equates specifically to to Hitler, not to his National Socialist movement — Nazism. Thus, the “revelation” the word has no literal meaning when spoken by anyone not “chosen” to regurgitate the government’s NewSpeak propaganda has become reality to the talking monkeys (the whole of the undereducated American electorate) — a “reality” utterly unsupported by fact. And, like the Germans and Italians did after they elected their own lower case messiahs, they intellectually and physically defended them tooth and nail until an outside threat to their respective dictators’ powers proved too much to bear; meaning they feared an impending purge upon their armies’ defeat. But then, hell, hardly any damage at all had been done in the meantime time, right? No biggie.

And what’s a few eugenicists and racists in an administration modeling itself on the aforementioned system, anyway?

I guess “never again” then doesn’t necessarily translate to “never again” now, especially when everyone’s so happy about not having to operate on a system of constant self-loathing anymore… Except, of course, when it comes to “saving” the planet. That’s one self-hating hurdle no devoted national socialist can avoid anytime soon, because it’s just sooo cool to be seen in a Prius here in North America — even though its multi-continent mining, transport and construction has the exact same environmental impact as building THREE Challenger II Main Battle Tanks (sans depleted uranium ammunition, naturally). Remember, it’s the perception of the thought that counts, not its cogency!

Besides, it’s probably just me who doesn’t fully appreciate or comprehend what appears to be such a game-changing victory for social ~~engineering~~ justice.

I’m sure I’ll come around.

I’ll be buying my bread using a wheelbarrow full of devalued currency when I finally do, but I’m sure I’ll come around.

I’m just thrilled that “La-La-La-La-La-La, I’m Not Listening!” is so much easier to sing than our former national anthem.

Hint Fiction Link

The Blank — Sun, 16 Aug 2009 04:00:19 +0000

If you get it, you get it.

If you don’t, you won’t.

http://www.robertswartwood.com/?page_id=8.

Writers, authors and the non-feeble minded, please use the above link to change your lives BEFORE August 31, 2009.

As the folks at Hint Fiction put it:

***For a limited time, if you link to these guidelines on your blog or Twitter, you can submit a third story. These must be posted between July 1 and August 15. Include the link at the end of your e-mail. If you don’t include a link, the third story will be deleted unread.***

I mean, whadda ya got to lose – except your anonymity?

This is the “fishy” e-mail…

The Blank — Thu, 06 Aug 2009 06:32:32 +0000

…our President, the lower case messiah who hath restored the Weimar Republic of Germany in the 1930s to all its fascist glory here in 21st Century America by adopting every single economic policy of National Socialist Adolf Hitler, hath ordered his loyal minions, blind drunk supporters and fascism-loving half-wits to forward communications such as this directly to the White House.

Hello.

My name is Phil.

I believe the ongoing nationalization of private industry under the government manufactured pretense of “crisis” has been tried and proven to be an unworkable exercise in totalitarian extremism that destroys not only viable capitalist economies, but basic human liberty. Between 1941 and 1945, the scourge of fascism was considered the mortal enemy of Freedom by the Democratic Constitutional Republic of the United States of America. Between 2007 and 2009, fascism again found itself enthusiastically embraced as an economic panacea by the voters of the same country that once fought so hard to defeat it. In 2008, they had finally found their chosen messiah to lead them away from what they must perceive as the “horrors” of individual responsibility and personal decision making.

Today, these same people are being asked to expose anyone opposing the shredding of reason, accountability and the Constitution of the United States by forwarding any contrary — or “fishy” — electronic communications directly to the office of their Chief Executive.

Again, my name is Phil. I live in Tucson, Arizona.

I respectfully disagree with the unconstitutional and self-destructive path being taken by this administration.

Please don’t forget to include the e-tarter sauce when you forward this contrary position to the White House.

Thank you for your time and kind attention.

“The American Republic will endure until the day Congress
discovers that it can bribe the public with the public’s money.”
– Alex de Touqueville, Last thinking Frenchman in History

Forty Years Ago

The Blank — Mon, 20 Jul 2009 09:42:57 +0000

Forty years ago today, Man achieved what was once thought to be the impossible.

Forty years from today, the country from which Man first came will no longer exist.

*
*
*
*

Thanks for leaving the redistribution stains over the glory, morons.

“Take my advice and go back to the time you
came from. The future isn’t what it used to be.”
— Ambassador G’Kar, Babylon 5

The Fourth That Once Was Is A Fourth That’s No More

The Blank — Sat, 04 Jul 2009 07:51:44 +0000

“I hope you don’t hold my liking WALL-E against me.”

Good Lord, NO!

– “I just thought it was a cute movie.”

Which, if you don’t dissect it, it certainly is. My trouble with it lies a little deeper.

– “So, please, don’t think I’m an ‘environazi’ or anything like that because I thought WALL-E was a cute movie.”

I don’t, and I know you aren’t. The reason you will be spared in the coming “purge” is because you have a great big brain. Great big brains are not that piece of propaganda’s intended audience; tiny little talking monkey brains are. This film is no different — NO different in any way, shape or form (aside from the glorious digital animation) — from any piece of National Socialist propaganda cranked out by Goebbels on Hitler’s behalf in 1930′s Germany. Its stated mission (aside from making George Soros’ allies money) is to “…indoctrinate young people by educating them to accept that the mistakes of their parents cannot and should not be tolerated nor perpetuated in an era of drastic MAN MADE CLIMATE CHANGE.”

This is why we have who we have running the country right now, as it is the result of two generations of public school indoctrination into the manufacturing of a service industry society where all individual achievement is shunned and viewed as a collectivist success. It’s also why I have said that it’s never been easier, because the American electorate has never been stupider. Not ignorant, mind you, but stupid. Ignorance can be cured by education, but, like Ron White says, you can’t fix stupid.

All great big brains — like yours — are immune to the illogic.

All brains that know only their collectivist training are disgusted by anyone who would point to achievement as not being the product of a committee.

– “Honestly, I just think the robot is adorable. And the cockroach. That’s all.“

Notice how the robot only gains empathy and love through watching Barbara Streisand in Hello Dolly?

Honestly? If this movie were any more of a kick in the crotch of everything America once stood for, it would be goose-stepping.

Oh, and when a disease-carrying cockroach is anthropomorphized into being “adorable” you know you’re being preached to–no… Preached AT.

Okay.

Now that you’ve picked yourself up off the floor to wonder why I changed into such a raging ideologue asshole, please understand that this is what I do. In fact, this is pretty much all I’ve done over the last two decades. I do clarity, not compromise. I come from a position that is the hardest ideological sale in the world, because it doesn’t rely on the usual mechanisms of change: fear and ignorance. Instead, my “political sales pitch” is no sales pitch at all — which explains why my fellow Objectivists and I routinely fail at being elected; Ron Paul being the exception proving the rule.

You know how hard it is to get people to listen to you when the only thing you’re offering is the notion that Free Men have the right to be left alone?

No new programs — ?

No free money for special classes — ?

No efforts ending with the phrase “it’s for the children” — ?

Just living free within the constraints of the Constitution of this democratic constitutional republic — ?

(Note: NOT “democracy” but Republic.)

“Are you mad, sir?”

Oh, you have noooooooooooooooooo idea…

And, yes, I’m all about the enjoyment of what little we have left, but I am no longer able to turn my back and enjoy life the way I once did as a child. This isn’t the hubris or apocalyptic notion of some crazed end-timer. I am simply stating fact, and there is no opinion in fact.

We are, in every literal sense of the word’s definition, a fascist nation now.

And this electorate can’t seem to get enough of it.

I’m also in a particularly festive mood from having to wait TWO HOURS to clear a Pima County Sheriff’s Office random checkpoint coming back home from watching Otisburg’s largest firework display celebrating our nation’s birthday… A display that uses no taxpayer dollars, I might add.

The Founders did not leave us this legacy.

Stupidity did.

Happy Birthday, America.

Please accept my humble apologies for what we’ve done to soil your promise — mainly by thinking you ever owed us anything in the first place.

The Man Next To You

The Blank — Wed, 03 Jun 2009 08:04:23 +0000

I wrote the following for a friend who had been visiting VA hospitals in the Northwest during the Fall of 2007. My friend was not part of any larger group or organization, he was visiting wounded vets simply because he believed he needed to. After delivering some books and spending a few precious moments with one gravely wounded Marine, he reluctantly left the ward and proceeded to leave the hospital. Not more than a minute later, a nurse came running down the hall after my friend in order to tell him that the Marine he had just spoken with had expired. My friend was the last living soul to speak with this Marine. It is my honor to call one man my friend. It is my honor to call the other my countryman.

The Man Next To You

He waited.

He waited, but not for a parade, nor permission, nor a public pat on the head from some opportunistic policy maker.

He waited because he had yet to confirm he was good to go – but he couldn’t just hear it from anyone.

He waited to hear it from someone who mattered.

He waited to hear that it mattered.

He waited to hear that he mattered.

He waited for the only one with whom he knew he could trust his life.

He waited for the only one for whom he would give his life.

He waited for the man next to him.

He waited because, in the end, the man next to him was all that really mattered.

He waited because he knew the man next to him had always understood.

He departed knowing the man next to him had always had his back, and would someday stand beside another man. The man next to him is who he was fighting for – who they‘re all still fighting for. The rest is just background noise.

Just noise, that is, save for the last man to stand next to and comfort a wounded Marine.

At that moment, the man next to him became every man who’s ever stood at the side of another man in war. At that moment, he more than mattered.

He made a difference.

He made us worthy.

Semper Fidelis, indeed.

“There’s something terribly wrong with this country…”

The Blank — Wed, 20 May 2009 11:47:52 +0000

“Thank you, but I’d rather die behind the chemical sheds.”

What exactly DID we vote for, anyway?

The Blank — Thu, 23 Apr 2009 12:14:19 +0000

The man I voted for as President said the following. The man or woman far more Americans voted for could never say this, because that man or woman could not now, nor would they ever, understand that some Americans would rather stand divided than kneel united. They embrace outright fascism because most of their constituents are clamoring for it — just like the German masses did when they voted for Hitler. If Americans of good will who voted for any of those men or women cannot see this by now, their eyes are shut, and yet another tedious history lesson will not change the fact they will never open them until it’s too late.

How do I know?

Because it’s already too late.

Enjoy the ride, America — even if some of us are prepared to unbuckle our freight cars before we reach your all-too-final destination.

Just my extremist whack-job opinion, 4.23.09

“Secession is a good principle. Just think of the benefits that would have come over these last 230-some years if the principle of secession had existed. That means the federal government would always have been restrained, not to overburden the states with too much federalism, too many federal rules and regulations. But since that was all wiped out with the Civil War, the federal government has grown by leaps and bounds and we have suffered the consequences, and we need to reconsider this. It’s not un-American to think about the possibility of secession. This is something that’s voluntary. We came together voluntarily. A free society means you can dissolve it voluntarily. That was [what] the whole issue was about.”

Rep. Ron Paul, (R-TX)

www.RonPaul.com
April 21, 2009

Odd Way to Spend Good Wednesday

The Blank — Thu, 09 Apr 2009 09:26:03 +0000

Odd to think I spent “Good Wednesday” evening (“Good Friday” being a revisionist history hoax perpetrated by Pope Gregory in the Eighth Century because he apparently needed to create the first three-day-weekend; simultaneously erasing Saturday as the Holy Sabbath along with having no idea the Jewish day begins at sunset — not to mention the fact he magically made “three days and three nights” out of only Friday through Sunday to fit his particular “Vatican math”) sorting through and boxing-up spent brass into the remaining commercial cartridge boxes I had on hand whilst watching The Passion of the Christ on DVD.

I still can’t figure out why the world changed the name of the single most important figure in human history to suit their own language sensibilities, though.

Seriously, if anyone’s going to accept anybody as The Messiah, shouldn’t they extend a modicum of common courtesy and think twice about renaming Him? I mean, really, it’d make just as much sense to call Him something like Jeff or Max or Willem or Jim as it does Jesus, right?

Oh, well… At least Mel got something right. No living tree and it’s the wrong hill, but at least he got His name right.

Amen and Stuff