Post to the Neighbor Nazi Listserve

Here’s an interesting e-mail I received from a friend (not actually located in this neighborhood, but up in Team 2 territory on the northwest side) who had a very typical “Can I come in and use your phone to call my girlfriend?” house-casing experience with a complete stranger earlier today.  I don’t mean to sound like I’m not surprised by the lack of interest on TPD’s part, but, considering we’ve been told over and over again to report such incidents to the police (Remember the whole “Snaggletooth” ordeal?), it does make a fella wonder if this 911 call would have been taken slightly more seriously by the City had the caller not been a single mom worried about her and her daughter’s safety, but rather an outside contractor making a juicy kickback on a faux citation being issued to prop up a lazy and incompetent city government’s revenue stream.

Yeah, yeah, yeah… I can hear the gasps and “tisk-tisking” at the mere suggestion of there being something wrong in paradise, but, quite frankly, I really don’t care how “offensive” anyone finds my wide-eyed curiosity about such goings on.  It’s funny how my sarcasm never seems to bother real cops, but then, they’re not who people keep voting for — are they?

Regardless, the aforementioned e-mail follows this, my latest attempt at what’s sure to be deemed as “hate speech” by the hand-wringing politically correct.

Who IS John Galt?
Phil
Soon to be former board member, MNA

PS: I confirmed I’ll be available next Sunday to witness the treasurer report if we can wrap it up no later than 5:30 PM, or thereabouts.

____________

Phil,

Well chum, “no incident has occurred,” said the nice female voice on the other end of the phone when I attempted to call 911 with and “Incident Report”. We (911 lady and I) were disconnected and I had to call her back. The same woman answered, thank goodness, or someone might have thought something horrid had happened when the phone went dead.  I believe she hung up on me on accident. She answered straight away when I called back to say that everything was OK.

Anyway, they do not do “Incident Reports,” unless the man is still around and bothering me or at least within my sight. I told her that I would rather not open the door to see if the man was still outside of my door and in my sight at this point.

This system does not seem to work.


Thanks for listening and for the wannabe helpful advice,

D

Still Annoying His Loyal Minions 140 Characters at a Time

The Monarch’s Freestanding (no individual responses) Tweet Compendium; From December 3, 2008 through March 1, 2009

I need to find a new pain slut (one who’s not a commie) upon whom I can take out some pent up aggression caused by living in a police state.

Until you’ve seen ELO perform it live (in dts) on their Zoom DVD (only two cellists!), you can’t believe its true genius.

Inappropriate New Year’s statements? Try, “Do you have a round water bowl for Wrigley? He doesn’t recognize this one’s shape.”

Oppo is finally announcing their Blu-ray player. All is about to be right with the world. Well, at least until the Kenyan takes office…

Any phrase that includes the words “benevolent” and “overlords” sounds expensive and Orwellian. Oh. Wait. It is. `8-(

Woo hoo. It’s my 419th tweet. Now I am a man. Or was my 23rd follower that did it? Yes. NOW I am a man. Holding out my fo-tos for chief…

I’m watching the shiny cars, too. Can’t wait for Speed to be picked up in Hi-Def by Dish during their next round of releases!

The 1.78 broadcast of Serenity off Sci-Fi looked great, but it really showed how AWFUL Dolby Digital sounds compared to dts.

I have a great storytelling CD of Tom Russel’s. Li’l Jack Horner has a tale of he & Charles Bukowski actually stealing a train!

After they refused to display Michael Moore Is A Big Fat Stupid White Man I’ve sabotaged B&N’s Moore section in similar fashion.

I really believe AgentOrange123 needs to switch her name to “AgentOranger” because she’s “owned” that moniker since the late ’80s.

Just found out another acquaintance – a political ally – is dead. He was killed in a car accident and died on December 7. Rest well, Robert.

You know what else they put in “healthy” dog food? They put it in a bag. Beat that for convenience!

I had no idea sake was so fluffy. If it makes you feel any better, my penance will be staying at home tonight. I’m just wasted.

Hope the Concords are flying high, because I’m apparently paying a high price for flying so low for so long that I need to lay even lower.

The homes that were tagged after Barry got elected are putting “Free At Last!” signs. Think I’ll play The Boondocks‘ MLK clip REALLY loud.

Apparently, a lot of folks were wondering why I didn’t post this yesterday, so, here ya go: http://tinyurl.com/9p4xzx

As of this morning, all the Christmas decorations are stowed, but I still have SIX people with whom I’m supposed to “do Christmas” to go.

Criminals… Cunts… Charlatans… The immediate cost of hope and “change” brought to you by our Down Syndrome electorate.

It appears Admiral Adama also shops at Crate & Barrel, because he serves his Irish whiskey out of a Polish (Krosno) decanter just like mine.

What else would you expect from socialism? We’ve known about the digital transition since ‘84, set the date in ‘95, yet, here we go again.

We are so utterly fucked as a country. The talking monkeys LOVE strangling in the death grip of fascism. Fuck, even SOMALIA’S gone digital.

New definition of success: Get votes from morons; Tell morons you’re saving the poor from having no TV; Get even more votes next time.

Seriously, you inbred cunts. You’ve had your fucking chance (since 1995) to get a clue. No one owes you a goddamn thing so you can watch TV.

Hope / Change / Somalia — Of these three destinations, which one(s) ended analog television broadcasts when their laws said they would?

Funny how much hate mail one accumulates after the wheels start coming off of the messiah bus…

Shine A Light looked fantastic and sounded fine (for missing an octave) on Blu-ray, but Stop Making Sense is still the best concert film ever made.

“The ‘messiahs’ are all in politics, and they’re killing us.” — Russian Jew with the Bielski Otriad, 1941, in Defiance

Just discovered that there are (were?) 288,433 blind disciples following the lower case messiah on Twitter. Retards humping doorknobs, all.

Great day for my Dad. Dropped by with my Mom and yelled at both a neighbor child and his own dog. Yeah, Alzheimer’s can be a real hoot.

Two Obamites are asking ME why, if the “stimulus” bill’s so crucial there was no time to read it why’d the cunt wait until TODAY to sign it?

Monday: A damaged but thriving Democratic Constitutional Republic. Tuesday: National Socialism under America’s latest warm and fuzzy Hitler.

David Hardy — my pal, destroyer of Michael Moore and Brady Law’s unconstitutionality — is on FOX News’ Glenn Beck show at half-past today!

My new cologne from Ireland finally arrived. My current Irish cologne once had @AgentOranger saying she smelled “bug spray” in my truck cab.

My neighbor nazi association wants me banned from their listserve because I’m not an Obamite LIKE EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM ARE. Fascists=Fun

No question as to why “Comments” was disabled… This video must already be against the law: http://tinyurl.com/7yk9ut

The neighbor nazis have given me an ultimatum regarding expressing an opinion different from their own. Gotta love that Fairness Doctrine.

“You know how to use this?” < Echo chambers a round into the agent’s suppressed .45 > “Four brothers; none of them Democrats.”

Between their “DC vote = statehood” and moving the census into the White House, we’re HONESTLY talking noose-worthy treason here.

Both MacArthur and Patton rode in and fired on the Bonus Marchers in 1932, so unless we’re hugging a Congresscritter at the time…

“How ’bout a little Henry Miller with your Huckleberry Finn? Assume the position, Honey, let’s begin…”

Are your pants yelling at you, too?

MINIONS!! PREPARE FOR BATTLE!! THE OVERTHROW OF OUR OPPRESSORS IS AT HAND! KNOW THEM BY THEIR BUMPER STICKERS WITH THE STUPID CIRCULAR LOGO!

Yes, Twenty-Seven, I know your neighbor’s a nice guy and he has kids, BUT HE VOTED FOR MARXISM! HE MUST FEEL THE STING OF THE MONARCH! KILL!

I can’t believe I’m gonna miss out on Ursa making Erroris her bitch just so I can participate in plotting and scheming against – everything.

I got a shot of the moon and Venus separated by a palm tree trunk that night. Very dramatic… But on a cell phone. Doesn’t count.

I can’t help myself. I actually enjoy killing the bloody wogs. I mean, it’s either taking it out on them or a trip to DC.

If it’s bleeding from its little snout, then you should stop punching it with your little fist. Just sayin’… `;-)

You mean you HAVEN’T magnetically erased the strip on your license? Screw the People’s Republik of Kaliphonia by not kneeling!

The Second Amendment option will prove a win-win situation even when we lose. Why? Because, like a big ol’ noisy Snickers bar, it satisfies.

Shrugging Atlas

For what it’s worth, I’ve heard/read/seen the title of Ayn’s masterwork more times over just the past three weeks than I have during the course of my entire life.

I know it doesn’t mean anything, and I certainly realize it can’t change anything at this point, but it’s interesting to see the death bed conversions of so many dyed-in-the-wool “conservatives” who’ve come to realize Republicans weren’t then, and aren’t now, the answer to any substantive socioeconomic problem aside from worrying about mothers of fourteen or a bare tit on television.

Ron Paul absolutely needs to bail from the party NOW. Americans are too stupid and ill-educated to do anything besides vote for either an R or a D, anyway, so why go down with a ship that “your” party had scuttled so long ago it’s already rusted out from the inside?

This country cannot be saved.  This country should not be saved.

It was a nice experiment, but we’re finished.  We’ve stayed too long propping up way too many drunk girlfriends (i.e.: the nesting creatures demanding forced altruism, who’ve controlled every election since given the vote) to have NOT worn out our welcome on Freedom’s stage.

I’m just hoping to make this bloated boat’s finial moments above water just as miserable — and perhaps, as bloody — for as many mortal enemies and morons by choice as humanly possible.

I do not, however, consider such demeaning and/or violent actions revenge.

I look at it as just picking up the check for the entire table, because I’m so embarrassed by the disgusting mess we’ve left atop so many brave Americans’ honored corpses.