You Suck
      ~ or ~
(No, I Sic)
by Anonymous

(aka: From some hapless AOLer who refused to leave their name – for obvious reasons – and who, poor thing, was born without the ability to use a comma.*)

*Note: Whenever I receive a “worthy” e-mail, I edit it in Word and basically leave everything (aside from obvious spelling and punctuation errors) intact, but this offering was too priceless to do anything to it aside from breaking it down into manageable paragraphs, as I received this as two gigantic blocks of text. – The Blank

I don’t know who the fuck you think you are if your [sic] anybody at all but you fucking make me and everyone else here [?] sick you fucking loser.  There is no doubt in my mind that your [sic] a fucking lunatic and should be locked up away from your beloved guns and cars and for gods [sic] sake women before you end up on the news for killing somebody!

I see shit like this on the net [sic] all the time so your [sic] not breaking any new ground here so why don’t you shut the fuck up and do something productive with your life besides telling people how much you hate the way they think and act AND DRIVE!?

If we knew who and where you were [sic] my friends and I know a lot of people who’d come and kick your pathetic ass and put your picture on the net [sic] so everyone could see what a pathetic dicless [sic] wonder you really are!  And I’m not just saying that I really mean it!  I bet your [sic] some middleaged [sic] guy who hasn’t ever had a real piece of ass but likes to talk a good game in case he ever does.  Like THAT’S going to happen!

I also thing [sic] your [sic] a warloving [sic] freak for writing that thing about nuking the arabs [sic] just because they attacked us when all we do is fuck with those people just to get their oil so you can drive whatever piece of shit you drive.  A little tolerance wouldn’t kill you you sick fuck and you’d probably live a lot longer to [sic].

I also know people who won [own?] guns to [sic] and its [sic] a shame that there [sic] people like you out there who give good people like my friends and my friends [sic] parents a bad name and make the government want to make it harder for them to buy guns.  I hear that shit from a lot of my friends so its [sic] not like your [sic] telling anybody anything we don’t already know.

Your [sic] not doing yourself any favors hating so much so why don’t you stuff a sock in it and get some sun or something before you dis [?] another person place or thing.  And its [sic] not like I’m [not?] sure you don’t hear the words YOU SUCK in your sleep from all the people who must tell it to you 20 times a day but I thought I should tell you again before you forget and start thinking anyone is listening to your fucked up [sic?] bullshit:


Seriously man, [Look! A comma! – The Blank] you should go to see a psychiatrist and get some professional help before its [sic] to [sic] late.