A Neuron by Any Other Name
by Graham McNeill

About three weeks ago, a woman with less then 19 functioning neurons in her brain, parked on the railroad tracks at Ina and I-10.  How do we know she had less than 19 neurons?  It’s simple.  At 19 neurons, the primitive self-preservation begins to evolve.  From there, a true Homo Sapient will evolve.

Now, in all fairness, scientific studies have shown the self-preservation neurons can be stifled or negated by the offending creature’s parents.  If these parents censor the child from every outside stimuli – including danger – then the self-preservation neurons do not develop, and, in the worst case, are skipped entirely during the rest of the development.  There is no need to go into the scientific evidence detailing with why Homo Sapiens from the age of 9-months to 21-years are bent on self-destruction, since there is nothing man can do about it.  But, stopping this process causes the “Negative 19” neuron problem.

When one of these creatures becomes fully developed with less than 19 neurons, that creature is totally incapable of functioning without the help of others.  No fully developed Homo Sapient in their right mind will help a creature that was marked for extinction because of the reasons noted above.

Because of the fact the neurons that drive the necessity to breed are located between #12 and #15, the surviving stupid creatures breed like cockroaches.  The reason these stupid creatures are beginning to overrun the world is because a brand new breed of creature has since developed.  These creatures can imitate true Homo Sapiens, but remain unknown until given a position of power.  These “False Sapiens” sole purpose for being is to preserve and help the stupid creatures we are classifying as: -19n

...Which brings us back to the problem in question.

The False Sapiens have decided to use public funds to inform the stupid -19n’s not to park on railroad tracks; thus thwarting another attempt of Mother Nature from exercising her right to kill a creature that should not have survived to the age of two in the first place.  The False Sapiens have gone as far as sending the Anti-Evolution Nazis to inform the -19n’s that couldn’t read to stay off the tracks.

The time has come to take our world back.  We must devise plans to invite the False Sapiens to give speeches to the -19n’s in places of our choice – places like dedications at railroad crossings.  If planned correctly, 132 tons of steel traveling at 65mph would make short work of them.

We desperately need Phil In The Blank’s help in furthering our cause.

Thank you for your time.